That can't be comforatble

My doctor said that just because I had this surgery didn't mean I couldn't have a natural childbirth. But after getting our first 3D scan on Valentines day, I had a feeling that is not how it would happen. Her foot was in her face!!! And little miss stubborn didn't move at all!! I guess she wanted to take the ''easy'' way and be air lifted out of me instead of traveling through that narrow canal. Oh well back in for another surgery, at least for my first one I was put to sleep, but then woke up in ALOT of pain.But for the actual birth it really hit me when I walked into the operating room but realized this time around the doctors would be removing a real human being, that was all mine forever! That is what freaked me out the most and also fear of what if she was sick. Seeing the heating lamps under the baby bed cart and the incuabtor in case there was any problems got me really scared. There is no backsies and no turning back now my time has come. After getting the needle in my back, being strapped down not being able to feel/move my legs/arms I got very antsy and restless. I could only move my head a little. It felt like forever lying there. A mixture of not getting enough sleep and the needle made me very tired but I do remember finally Paul coming in but he was not able to sit as close to me as I thought he would. I remember the anastesialogist telling him I was just starting to get restless but that I was doing ok. Now I know there is no real pain with a c-section like there is natural childbirth, I have heard about the feeling of pressure and some pulling and tugging, but I didn't even want to feel what that was like! And I already had a vertical scar that was going to be cut over again but closed up in a way that would minimize scarring. (But please that is a whole other story, I won't even go there!)And so my eyes closed and I went to sleep. Next thing I know I hear the sounds of a baby crying and Paul talking to a nurse about her. I somewhat open my eyes and I see this tall blue image (Paul wearing the hospital scrubs) cradling a bundle of blankets with the biggest Kool Aide smile I have ever seen taking up his whole face. I quickly closed my eyes again but after he had to give her back to the nurse she brought her over to me and asked if I wanted to kiss her. I did and went back to sleep.Next thing I remember is being wheeled around the hospital, going in an elevator and being swung into a room to recover and wait for my room. I was not allowed to go to my room until I was able to move my legs and that took a while it seemed like. I remember my friend Tricia came in with my mom and telling my that the babys color and everything looked perfect. I was happy but so out of it. But I am happy that I didn't wake up in pain, like my first operation, but I believe it was because this time I finally had my baby!